josh a-way home

reading james 1

2009-09-28T01:24:00.007-04:00

"James, a slave of God and of Jesus, the Messianic King,

To the people of God scattered to kingdom come around the world,

Greetings.

When the bottom falls out,

when things come apart at the seams,

when the stock market crashes,

your job is up for grabs,

the mortgage payments are getting harder to pay,

and you really don’t know how you are going to make ends meet,

this is a time for pure, unadulterated, ecstatic and contented joy!

When your church is without a pastor,

when older, faithful members are moving away,
when you are in a time of transition, unsure of the future,

when the budget looks like an unattainable dream,

that’s fantastic!

When you face all kinds of trials,

the infirmities of older age,

the insecurities of being a young person,

the struggles with loneliness,

painful confusion about sexuality,

the collapse of beloved institutions,

a marriage that has seen happier days,

tensions within the family,

you name it!

then again I say to you, this is pure joy!

“Joy?” you ask.

Grin and bear it, maybe.

Dig in and get through the trouble, perhaps.

Maybe even patience.

But joy?

This is the kind of stuff that strips me of any capacity for joy.

Economic anxiety,

worries about the future,

deep internal pain,

that debilitating sense of loss,

that impending death in so many areas of our lives …

and you say we should receive all this with joy?

Pure joy?

Yes, my friends, joy.

to continue, see: When the Bottom Falls Out :: A Targum on James 1.1-18 by Brian Walsh

i still remember memorizing james 1 with pastor ted way back when. it comes in handy. i found this piece by brian walsh to be a source of encouragement as i prepare to enter more fully into the church and her ministry in the coming year.

home but not yet

2007-06-05T01:39:00.000-04:00

i've been back in vancouver for a month and a half now. i find myself not knowing how to continue with this "away home" blog, thus the silence.

it's a little strange being back home. part of me still want to be travelling i guess. i get these emails about working opportunities in egypt or tanzania, or friends going to taize or botswana, and i dream of the possibilities of escaping away again.

i went on a little "retreat" last night while worshipping with others at afcvancouver. the experience took me back to the waves near our camp in mexico, the beach of iona, and the different star-gazing nights during my time away. i was reminded of this song, that "god will delight when we are creators of justice & joy", and i realized then that my journey home is far from being over. what an honour & privilege it is to be given the role of a co-creator for things of this earth and for what is to come.

may your kingdom come. may your will be done, on earth as in heaven.

interlocking work, play & worship

2007-03-24T15:12:00.000-04:00

have you heard pastor ted from lgc talk about the interlocking cycle of church ministry?

well, this is my interlocking cycle of trying to get through to the end of my masters program:

surviving on 36 bucks this week

2007-03-13T21:12:00.000-04:00

and now, to catch up on the blogging i missed:

this is what i've been doing this week: to try surviving on 36 bucks!

it's my classmates' brilliant idea to raise awareness on how difficult it is for those relying on Ontario Works to gain employment and economic independence... with just $36 a week!! check out their blog if you're interested: ONTARIO WORKS DOESN'T WORK

they've asked people to empty everything in their wallet except for $36 for the week of march 12-18. i signed up to join in on their campaign late on sunday night (march 11). cuz really, who would willingly sign up for social assistance if they don't need to? and let me tell you, it's been hard!!!!

even though i was buying myself some good food & nutritional goodies the weeks prior, i've been learning fast and pretty much figured out how to eat with less than 5 bucks a day. it's not too hard to do if you're just eating bread (the cheapest kind), can soups, and instant noodles. the problem is, i have NO energy when i'm in class! what's worse, my pay-as-you-go expired right on the first day, and i'd be crazy to spend $10+tax on a phone card when i need the money for food!! but... HOW AM I going to apply for jobs if i don't even have a phone, or a place where people can leave messages for me?!

and it's a good thing that it's getting warmer in kitchener these two days. or else i'd be freezing by now!!!

well, i don't need to go through the week to be convinced that ONTARIO WORKS DOESN'T WORK! does that mean i should start writing my MP now and eat normal again by tomorrow???!! hahhaaa...

am i spamming you?

2007-03-13T20:59:00.000-04:00

yeah!! i have my blog back!!!
blogs are good when you don't have the energy to do actual work.

i got this from blogger help about an hour ago:

Hello,

Your blog has been reviewed, verified, and cleared for regular use so that it will no longer appear as potential spam. If you sign out of Blogger and sign back in again, you should be able to post as normal. Thanks for your patience, and we apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.

Sincerely,
The Blogger Team

apology accepted! but... WHY???

global citizen

2007-03-10T20:02:00.000-05:00

what the... blogger blocked my blog!! (now repeat that three times with me!!)
so anyways, by the time you're reading this, blogger would have had a human approved that my blog is legit. i guess i've been commenting too much on other people's site and not writing enough here!! hopefully it's nothing worse than that. hahaa...

i heard stephen lewis speak last night at laurier's global citizenship conference. he delivered a captivating 5-point talk on darfur, afghanistan, climate change, HIV/AIDS in africa and gender equality, challenging canada to do its part in our world. when he was describing antiretroviral drug-users who are lacking in food, and orphans needing to be raised by grandmas, it brought back a lot of memories of my work in south africa. also horrifying was his stats on climate change, which shocked me into thinking once again about things i could be doing differently each day!

i also went to a few workshops at the conference today. the one that i think is blog-worthy is Global Voices Project -- Lesson Plans for Promoting Global Awareness in Young People. it's a joint venture by free the children, toronto star and nipissing university, whereby the kielburger brothers submit a global voice article to toronto star each week, and the education department of nipissing publishes a matching lesson plan at the same time on the torontostar website! check it out:
http://www.thestar.com/globalvoices or
http://www.thestar.com/opinion/columnists/94598
or you can access the archives through the free the children site as well.

when you get into the article of the week, you'll find a link or two for the lesson plans (in pdf format). if i were still leading a youth group, or if i had a class to teach, i would totally do something like this to get young people involved in being global citizens.

oh, and i found out that the kielburgers' parents (or at least one of them) are teachers as well! that's why they're natural at mobilizing students!

meet barack obama

2007-02-13T19:57:00.000-05:00

in continuing with recognizing the great work of community organizers and social justice advocates, this guy is my new favourite:

i dunno why i got involved & interested in american politics. thanks to mr. bush i guess!

calendars collide

2007-02-11T18:04:00.000-05:00

so it turns out that i ought to be celebrating next week according to at least three calendars that i follow religiously:

- school calendar: it's reading break next week! feb 19-23!!
- chinese calendar: it's new year all over again!! my iCal marked off feb 18-20 for me!
- liturgical calendar: hahaa... this one i'm stretching a little, but yes there's carnival, three days before lent. it's also landing on feb 18-20 this year!! i've never celebrated mardi gras before, but i guess i will this year!!! :D

one week in counting!!!

(photo from flickr: fishywang)

me to we

2007-02-04T20:06:00.000-05:00

i have to give a 10 minute group presentation tomorrow on a notable social justice advocate. i chose nelson mandela cuz of my recent experience in south africa, and the unsettling reflection i had after visiting robben island. i admire his inner strength & resiliency, and i gained a lot from his autobiography. he said, "the struggle is my life", yet we saw & know that this struggle is ongoing, even in the post-apartheid days. long walk to freedom... yes indeed.

tien told me about metowe.org a few weeks ago. i think if i had gone to the website earlier, or if it was an individual presentation, i would have pulled a last-minute change and present on Marc and Craig Kielburger instead. i mean, who else could say that they've changed the lives of a million people when they're still in their 20s, or have built 450 schools around the world?!! similar to how craig was inspired by reading about a 12-year-old guy when he was 12, i guess i'm now amazed by what craig & marc have done with their lives. and craig is a few years younger than i!! born in thornhill, ontario!!

i think the mark of a great social justice advocate is the ripple effect that continues onward. and yes, craig has done it for me. on that note, it's interesting to point out that among the many awards craig received, one of them is the Nelson Mandela Human Rights Award!

hmm... not many people are watching the me2we videos at youtube just yet. so maybe this would booster up some 人氣 for those videos:

(this one is marc talking about global stats)

on a separate note, i think my favorite author on coaching (or the only one i know so far, pat williams) has stolen m&c's me2we idea for his new article in choice magazine.

be yourself

2007-01-18T19:25:00.000-05:00

i dug out nouwen's bread for the journey again and read all the way to january 17 yesterday. he writes:

"often we want to be somewhere other than where we are, or even to be someone other than who we are. we tend to compare ourselves constantly with others and wonder why we are not as rich, as intelligent, as simple, as generous, or as saintly as they are. such comparisons make us feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous. it is very important to realize that our vocation is hidden in where we are and who we are. we are unique human beings, each with a call to realize in life what nobody else can, and to realize it in the concrete context of the here and now.

"we will never find our vocations by trying to figure out whether we are better or worse than others. we are good enough to do what we are called to do. be yourself!

children of immigrants and the issue of identity

2007-01-17T13:23:00.000-05:00

from this past monday & saturday's globe & mail:

"It's disturbing to discover the extent to which second-generation immigrants of colour feel less Canadian than their white counterparts in the same generation of immigrants. The divide between racial minorities and whites, almost nil when they arrive, actually grows among their children. That's the opposite of how this country is supposed to work.

"Visible-minority immigrants are slower to integrate into Canadian society than their white, European counterparts, and feel less Canadian, suggesting multiculturalism doesn't work as well for non-whites, according to a landmark report."

well, stop calling us "visible minorities" and maybe it'd start working better then!! :D

for more this disburbing discovery:
last saturday's article
tuesday's article

wowed #2

2007-01-10T02:30:00.000-05:00

excerpts from engadget.com, of steve jobs' keynote address at macworld 2007:

9:42am - "Well today, we're introducing THREE revolutionary new products. The first one is a widescreen ipod with touch controls" The crowd goes wild. "The second is a revolutinoary new mobile phone." (typo not mine. hahaa...)

9:43am - "And the third is a breakthrough internet communications device." Tepid response on that last one, but he almost got a standing ovation on the phone. '

"An iPod, a phone, an internet mobile communicator. An iPod, a phone, an internet mobile communicator.... these are NOT three separate devices!"

"And we are calling it iPhone!"

share the desire!

wowed #1

2007-01-10T01:40:00.000-05:00

ever since i got back to kitchener, everyone's been talking about "an inconvenient truth". my housemates, my profs, my classmates, everyone! and then today, i finally saw it IN CLASS. it was our program development & social planning course. we were to pay special attention to the scope of impact, influence, attributing factors when examining just one issue. from the personal to the trans-continental, from the universal to the microscopic... it penetrates all!

needless to say, i've been inspired to do more at least on the personal level. with a few clicks, it brought me to the list of ten things to do at climatecrisis.net:

1. change a light
2. drive less
3. recycle more
4. check your tires
5. use less hot water
6. avoid products with a lot of packaging
7. adjust your thermostat
8. plant a tree
9. turn off electronic devices
and finally...

10. spread the word! hahaaa...

cape town pics

2007-01-08T22:40:00.000-05:00

it took me a while to posts my cape town pics... but here they are!! enjoy!!

pictures of cape town & south africa, sep-nov 06

(selected pictures taken by ange, sarah & ryan)

before & now

2007-01-07T17:59:00.000-05:00

this is my new room in kitchener...

yesterday:
and today, after some home improvement:

but i was thinking, i prefer the view from my old room more: (or patrick's view of his new room!!!)

look skyward

2007-01-02T21:30:00.000-05:00

hehee... never got to do an entry while i was in vancouver & hong kong. maybe that's a sign of being & feeling at home. i'm now in toronto again and will be heading to kitchener to start my last term of school on thursday.

i took this picture on my way to the memorial garden this afternoon. 我發現原來只要有sonlight, 學會望天, 相在世界到處影都是多美!

天家

2006-12-12T08:47:00.000-05:00

hahaa… i figured a visit to tianjia is a must-blog! afterall, if shanghai is not home, then Heaven (be it on earth) has got to be some type of a home!

this “sky home” is japanese in nature, so the name is more likely to be pronounced as ten-ya or ten-ka instead of tian-jia (hahaa, i need some japanese help!). but then, it doesn’t really matter how it sounds cuz at this place, it’s all about the taste! and trust me, this place has toro that melts in your mouth and kani as sweet as those served in hokkaido. (but wait, i’ve never been to hokkaido!! hahahaa..)

well, in case you don’t trust a cantonese guy at a nippon ryouri, here’re some japanese words for you. this is how shanghai walker describes the place:
「こんな極上の、しかも高級寿司屋でほお張るマグロのトロを、上海でも満喫できるんですねえ」とかみしめる。

with a comment of:
「舌に乗せたトロはこれまた絶品！」

i don’t know much japanese, but 絶品 does sound like a very high rating to me!!! :D

***
after this trip, i am starting to imagine 天家 as a home where they serve a good bowl of rice and some quality udon! but until then, being in the company john&family with some top-notch fatty tuna & sweet king crabs (and many more hairy crabs at other shanghainese venues) is most definitely a taste of heaven!

@ YVR airport

2006-12-08T10:24:00.000-05:00

1 week at home is never enough. it's almost comparable to a whirlwind
tour of europe -- you see things, you meet people, you get excited,
you try to pack everything in. but in the end, you realize that you
don't have the time nor energy to do all that you want to do... and
you're left with feelings of longing for MORE.

may god grant us MORE. :D

good bye!

2006-11-29T23:56:00.000-05:00

goodbye capetown, capequad & social work dept at victoria hospital. it's been well worth it!!

safari

2006-11-22T15:42:00.000-05:00

i'm gonna be at the kruger national park this weekend!!!! i'm getting
super pumped about it. kruger is the largest game reserve in south
africa. it's roughly the same in size as israel. i'll be camping in
the wild, stayin together with the lions and elephants!! hahaha...j/k.

i'm counting on an amazing experience to report!! i can't wait. :D

victoria hospital

2006-11-20T14:58:00.000-05:00

i can’t believe it’s my last week of placement already. yes, this is the reason why i’ve come to south africa in the first place -- to practice social work in a foreign setting.

how different are the cases here when compared to hospital social work in canada?

well, i'd like to think that people in canada don't abandon their children as often as i'm seeing here. i also find myself calling for homeless shelters for my clients upon discharge quite often. two weeks ago, i worked with a guy in his 40s who was abducted by 3 men at an ATM one evening and was subsequently drugged up and threatened at knife point before getting dropped off the next day at his ex-wife's flat. today, there was a 15 years old guy in his school uniform bringing to us his mother who suffers from mental illness. apparently she has been wandering the streets as of late, and he wanted to get help for her. perhaps those are the exceptions to the pre-discharge planning that i spend most of my days doing, but yea, i find the exceptions do seem to creep up and get treated as the norm around here sometimes.

i guess not all of cape town is as beautiful as i’ve painted thus far. cape town looks different depending on the pair of lens you put on… and where you look too i guess. there are times and places where it’s inappropriate for my camera to see what i see. but if photography is about capturing what you want to see over and over again, then perhaps there are memories and documentations that i could do without!

(picture of protea: south africa’s flower)

MyDadRich Resources

2006-11-11T10:47:00.000-05:00

hehee... my dad will get a kick out of this i'm sure!

instead of reading a "traditional devotional" or perhaps even the daily
drucker, i'm now reading my dad's new book as
my daily meditation, one article at a time!

it's what i've been reading this past week on my train ride out to work. it's a 30minute train ride, so there's ample time for prayer &
reflection as well! what i surprised myself was that IT'S SATURDAY today and i'm still continuing with the daily reading! :D

19 more articles; and 19 days left in south africa!

lion's head

2006-11-10T11:14:00.000-05:00

hmm... it’s been a while since i last wrote. i’m enjoying the summer days too much here, thus leaving no time for the internet café.

so we finally hiked up the lion’s head! it was the ideal city hike we wanted to do for mid-autumn festival, but it was rainy and windy that night. so one month later, here we are:

there's six of us going up: 3 housemates, 2 norwegian students from work, & me!

this is the short cut up...

an evening view of the city

12 apostles

top of the head at sunset

and here's what lion's head looks like from the seapoint...

for more on the south african way of josh, do visit my housemates ryan & sarah's blog at We Wish To See! there, you actually get juicy stories of our weekend trips!!

you know the way that is mine

2006-10-25T13:49:00.000-04:00

while riding the train or walking the streets of cape town, i often find myself humming these two songs i learned over the summer. there's one that i posted before from iona, and then there's this song of taize. the words apparently are from the journal of Bonhoeffer two weeks before his execution.

Gott, lass meine Gedanken sich sammeln zu dir.
Bei dir ist das Licht, du vergisst mich nicht.
Bei dir ist die Hilfe, bei dir ist die Geduld.
Ich verstehe deine Wege nicht,
aber du weisst den Weg fur mich.

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

sabbath

2006-10-16T14:01:00.000-04:00

it's week 7 for me...
and that's how i spent part of my sunday afternoon, and today after work!

the seapoint pool is a wonderfully relaxing place!! it reminds me a lot of kits beach pool back home, with the salt water and all. except this one is seems much nicer for some reason. and if i stay late enough, i could catch sunset there too.

penguinification

2006-10-14T05:01:00.000-04:00

(pic from flickr: boulders+penguins)

what is it called when you see yourself through the activities and behaviours of penguins?

i had quite an enjoyable afternoon yesterday. i kinda wished i had brought my camera along, but for personal safety reasons i decided to save looking like a tourist for another day. it’s a bit comical when i start reflecting on it, cuz i’m quite sure that people i came across knew immediately that i’m not from the area. other than me being the only asian walking around in solitude, which is enough of a clue on its own, i was also stopping for postcards and other tourist spots that attracted my attention. on my train ride there, my eyes were glued to the magnificent beauty of the false bay seashore while sipping down a smirnoff ice. to top off my foreignness, i was yelling out to the minibus driver that i need to get off at what turned out to be the final stop for everyone. aiyaa… way to stand out josh!

it was my journey to meet the african penguins at simonstown friday after work. african penguins (aka jackass penguins due to the mating noises they make) are not nearly as good looking as the emperor penguins from antarctica. plus, it’s molting season for them so feathers were going everywhere and none of them were swimming… oh all except one.

it was quite the fun activity to spot out the personalities, or penguinalities(?), of these birds. a large trendy bunch were sunbathing at the centre of this most beautiful fine-sand beach on a friday afternoon (while the humans were “locked up” in an enclosed trail beside them!). the yuppies preferred lying on the boulder a bit above the others, engaging in a sophisticated kind of a conversation. then there was a much smaller community hiding in the shade under the deck. i thought they looked more like asian penguins than africans. other than that, there were the hikers, the wanderers, the players, the loners in and around the bushes. and finally, there was this rebel that had my attention for the longest time.

he was a youth who’d ignore his parent’s warning, knowing full well that without waterproof feathers he’d get super cold going into the water. he was literally the only guy that was remotely close to the water on this fine day. apparently, the penguins have to stay out of the water for a month during the molting season. i don’t blame him though. it was a warm and beautiful afternoon and i would at least dip my feet in was i allowed to be on that beach. i actually didn’t see him dive into the water, but they way he was walking on the little rock suggested to me that he just came out of it. it looked like to me he had a good time with that little adventure!

mid-autumn & thxgiving weekend

2006-10-07T03:21:00.000-04:00

i bought myself some chinese tea, and a few quasi-mooncakes at the local grocer this friday afternoon. the moon started looking bright and shinny from few nights ago. interesting enough, the calendar is showing that full moon is not until tomorrow night. so my housemates and i have decided to join with the local tradition of hiking up the lion’s head and sip some champagne as we bathe in the moonlight. i’m quite looking forward to that!

i feel a little bit off celebrating mid-autumn festival here in cape town, not only because it’s in the middle of spring here but probably also because i’m half the world away from “home”. the closest chinese person i know here is the owner of the chinese restaurant across the street. she was super kind and helpful to me when i got in, helping me look for a place to live and get to know the area, and cautioning me to stay away from the risky spots around seapoint. still, it’s not like i could have a sit-down dinner with her or anything. i miss dining with you all who are far away!

it’s a good thing that we’ll be celebrating canadian thanksgiving at our flat this weekend as well. this way, at least we’ll have a delicious and homey meal round the table. actually, dinnertime at our student apartment has been quite enjoyable! thanks to the exchange rate, we’ve been sharing great food & affordable wine together quite a lot.

i miss having thin-crust moon cakes at auntie aileen’s and chinese soup & turkey with ming&wan’s. but i have to say, life in cape town has been pretty sweet!

oh, i also went to “develop” a few of my pics for keep sake. it’s instant printing at the shop!! i don’t even know of such quick services in canada. anyways, here’s a sample of them: (it’s quite random i know, but it is in chronological order!)

weekend expedition

2006-09-28T14:49:00.002-04:00

my housemates and i went up north last weekend to a place called cederberg. the hike was amazing! so was the whole car ride experience to the middle of no where! on the ride there and back, there were natural beauties & sceneries that reminded us of home in canada!!

sunset at seapoint

2006-09-14T14:13:00.000-04:00

...just a minute's walk away!!!

spring in cape town: after one week

2006-09-09T04:01:00.000-04:00

dear family & friends,

greetings from south africa!

yup, it’s been a week already. on the morning i arrived, the locals informed me that it was indeed the first day of spring. spring, i’m reminded is about newness, life and growth. it is a call to come out of a “winter” of rest & rejuvenation, or in my case -- a full & fruitful summer spent in europe!!

the accommodation we confirmed felt through. so during the past 7 days, i have lived at a bed & breakfast place, a youth hostel, and now moved into a furnished apartment that my 2 classmates and i rented for the next three months. on the work front, i am still learning my role as the social work intern at the hospital. but so far, i have already visited children affected by TB, HIV & malnutrition, accompanied a mother of six to court who has witnessed domestic abuse, counselled a young father whose wife is said to be a binge drinker, and more.

on the tourist side of things, i have walked along the beautiful seaside, the world renowned v&a waterfront, the busy city centre... all the while trying not to pull out my map and be as street smart as i know how. i have also travelled in a van with my housemates’ organization, ikamva labantu (www.ikamva.org), visiting the poverty stricken townships where people live in shacks and perhaps 90% of the people are unemployed. in the foster homes that we visited, the children generally seemed happy, but twenty of them could be crammed into a space smaller than my bedroom.

cape town is a city of contrast & contradictions. the infamous minibuses that i decided to ride to work each day are called “taxis” by the locals, since most of them probably never would consider riding on the “real taxis” that my housemates and i used last night to get back from v&a waterfront, which only cost about $6 canadian, or a twoonie each. very cheap by our standards really. at the restaurant we ate at, my friend noticed that most people eating were white, while almost all the servers were black. and yea... there are quite a few italian, japanese & chinese restaurants around, but i have yet to find out what captownian food is all about.

well it is the weekend, so i should stop writing and go enjoy more of this beautiful city! table mountain here we come!

hope all’s well with you!

peace&love,
josh

still no address

2006-09-03T12:09:00.000-04:00

still no address to call my own here in cape town. feeling frustrated.

on a brighter note, i walked down to V&A waterfront this afternoon. i even pulled out a camera for a few shots! it was good to be by the sea again. but it's not like i ever left it or anything! hahaa. there were maybe 3 days in august where i wasn't by the sea or a lake while travelling in the UK. life is good. hahaa.

so the welcome sign at V&A waterfront said: "long time no sea?"
and my response? "nah, not for me!" :D

hehehe... will post some pics once i get the chance.
i start work at the hospital tomorrow!

cape town at last

2006-09-01T13:54:00.000-04:00

got into cape town at 5am this morning. it's been a hectic day, and full i guess!
blogger lost my one and only post of scotland when i typed it up at edinburgh... well, it was probably my fault. haha.
to sum it up: it's been a relaxing, rejuvenating & reconnecting time for me while in the UK. life was good!

but after the 17hrs flight (including layover) and the long day i had, i'll be needing my rest soon. just wanna let everyone know that i'm SAFE! (something noteworthy for south africa i guess.)

oh, and i got myself a cell number! haven't had one since i left vancouver! thanks to the mings for lending me their phone!

cheers.

memories of iona

2006-08-14T10:22:00.000-04:00

a place at the table
shirley erena murray

For everyone born, a place at the table
For everyone born, clean water and bread
A shelter, a space, a safe place for growing
For everyone born, a star overhead

(refrain)
And God will delight
When we are creators of justice and joy
Yes, God will delight
When we are creators of justice
Justice and joy!

For woman and man, a place at the table
Revising the roles, deciding the share
With wisdom and grace, dividing the power
For woman and man, a system that’s fair

For young and for old, a place at the table
A voice to be heard, a part in the song
The hands for a child in hands kind and wrinkled
For young and for old, the right to belong

For just and unjust, a place at the table
Abuser, abused, with need to forgive
In anger, in hurt, a mind-set for mercy
For just and unjust, a new way to live

For everyone born, a place at the table
To live without fear, and simply to be
To work, to speak out, to witness and worship
For everyone born, the right to be free

wagamama

2006-08-04T16:57:00.000-04:00

i've had so much bread & western food this past month that it was quite refreshing to have a bowl or two of noodles here in london. last night, i headed over to chinatown for a bowl of BBQ duck noodle soup, with "lai fun". and today, thanks to the suggestion of annie, i stopped at wagamama for a bowl of miso ramen. actually, i substituted it with udon, cuz that's still my favorite noodle!!

eating noodle soups made me miss home.

i was reminded of a conversation i had with tien while reading the menu at wagamama. it says: "we use disposable chopsticks made from bamboo, a readily renewable resource, so damage to the environment is minimal." hahaa...

taize pics

2006-08-02T07:23:00.000-04:00

there are many more pictures that i could post, but i'm limiting myself to just 12... similar to what the 12 stars on the eu flag represent i guess. :D

taize continues

2006-08-01T14:31:00.000-04:00

i’m back in paris again! the simple breakfast provided by the hostel was almost exactly the same as what we got at taize each morning: bread, chocolate and a cup of tea. this morning after some “washing up”, i found myself heading towards the church to gather with the five thousands. on my way there, i was singing the different taize songs, and i was reminded again of the message of love, peace and hope. at the church, the cameras are still flashing at all the novelties that one could capture. only this time, the church was notre dame and not the community church. after three weeks, i must stay that i’m much more at peace in worshipping among tourists. it was yet another prayer & worship in a foreign language, but somehow my heart was there, connecting with others in spirit in that midday mass. the lighting of the candle, the breaking of bread, and the words sung in latin were but a few suggestions that i’m still with others at taize.

i miss that place (and the people there, of course!!).

promise of a blessing

2006-07-22T05:52:00.000-04:00

dad started buying himself birthday presents in recent years. i wonder if that's because we haven't been buying him any. hahahaa...

rather than over analyzing that particular situation, i decided to follow my dads great example and bought myself an internet phone card today so i could be connected to "the world" through france telecom. trust me, with the simplicity of life at taize, checking emails become a luxury. internet minutes is costing me 10x that of paris. i think they did it just so we would spend more time in silence & meditation!

in the past two weeks of my own reflections, the themes of god's love & his promise of a blessing (from studies in genesis) were especially strong. somehow when you've realized that god loves all of humanity with an everlasting love, you feel the freedom to love more in action and to embrace life more fully. that's what i've been learning.

people here are super nice, so it's not all that hard to show love in action. what are the 5 languages of love again? well, i don't really remember, but i am learning to share simple gifts, to listen attentively, and to learn other languages at this community of international souljourners.

and as i look back on my journey thus far, i am thankful to be a living witness of a blessed life. yes, that's my summary statement for being 28! and this my friend is my gift back to you: i think of you when i count my blessings!! hahaahaaa... :D

Expecting a Surprise

2006-06-29T23:09:00.000-04:00

i started reading nouwen with my friends & fellow travellers:

"Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let’s not be afraid to receive each day’s surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy. It will open a new place in our heats, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity."
-- henri nouwen, bread for the journey

a week of turkish delights!

2006-06-26T02:00:00.000-04:00

what a super awesome & amazingly eye-opening experience it was!!! thanks to cousin camellia+baha & family for inviting me out!!! congratulations to you once again!! hope you're enjoying your honeymoon!! i'll be back to write about the delightfully lovely time we had!! as for now, i must let the pictures speak for themselves...

Turkey Trip Flash Slideshow

(selected pictures taken by patrick, tien & myself)

next stop: paris

glocalization

2006-06-14T05:53:00.000-04:00

i got inspired by (yan yan news) to write a little something personal on g11n...

my GaaTse tien wanted to see if i needed anything else from hong kong as we countdown for our turkey trip. being the spoiled brother that i am, i thought it'd be way easier & cheaper and "eastern time" efficient for her to get me these little things there. so i waited up until midnight to skype her on her cell during her lunch break, which cost me maybe a few cents... (btw, skype is still offering free north american calling!) ... and she agreed to getting me much more than i had bargained for!! :D

so my last step in this interpersonal & international transaction was completing the localization (l10n) with a quick email before bed, "translating" in words and pictures of all the little things i needed.

at the end of the day (or after a few hours of sleep when i woke up this morning), i learned that the "glocalization" that my favorite social work prof likes talking about is fact a multi-disciplinary concept! (check out wikipedia in L10n and localization.)

about the name

2006-06-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

where is home? where are you from? to where do you belong?? believe it or not, those questions are good paper-writing materials in our field... well, at least for me it was. i still have two more papers to do before, hopefully before, i leave town next week (oh wait, it's THIS week!). ahhh... i don't know why i'm still procrastinating, but i thought it's important for me to tell you about "josh a-way home" before i leave. there are four contributing factors to the name...

those of you who are from vancouver might have picked up that i borrowed the name from thai away home, a great take-out restaurant i often visited. yes, i do miss vancouver, and chances are that i'll be heading back after i graduate. so yea, i guess i consider vancouver a home.

my classmates who were at the equity forum last year might recall the opening chant by a circle of people from the aboriginal community. the lyrics to the song was a repeating "away away, away away away away". now seriously, i don't know if they were saying "awei" or "aqeh" or whatever it was, and i never did ask anyone about the meaning behind it. but to me, it speaks of a people coming together, and perhaps even going back to their roots. so in that sense, i do want to explore my cultural heritage as i continue to write at this site, and maybe even to learn from the "other" about myself as i travel onwards.

thirdly, those who have been following my henri nouwen entries might have picked up that his book finding my way home: pathways to life and the spirit has also made an influence in my naming of this site. it's about a journey of seeking and finding the god of love.

finally my fourth point is a combination of my first three points, but i figured i should call it a new point cuz i'm introducing eugene peterson and his take & eat concept on spirituality. yes, i love eating! and as i'll be on the road for the next many months, i figured that i'll be eating out quite a lot! so yea, maybe i'll even use this site as a food review & guide of some sort! :D

so yes, please consider journeying with me!

***
which world cup team are you cheering for??

parenthood

2006-06-03T22:02:00.000-04:00

those little guys are growing up fast! two weeks ago they were oh so tiny and cute, and today the dad/mom didn't even see the need to hiss at me anymore for standing there and taking pictures of them. this afternoon on my way back from pride, i saw the cutest mom&child ducks walking around. the mom was showing her child to step aside so i could pass! i didn't have my camera then or else this post would totally be called mothering instead! ah well, two-parent families are preferred anyways!

hehhee... on the topic of parenthood, maybe i should take a moment (or a line) here to say a
GREAT BIG THANK YOU
...for your nurture and guidance and care and love through all the years! :D

on a totally unrelated note, did you know that for morning prayers at the nouwen conference, we were praying:
"our father & mother in heaven, hallowed be thy name..."
comments? thoughts??

death & life

2006-05-27T10:40:00.000-04:00

it was about 4am when i woke up for no particular reason. if you know my sleeping habits at all, that is very unlike me to wake up in the middle of the night, and not be able to go back to sleep. i don't really know why the spirit of god wanted me to hear the snapping of that mouse trap about 10 minutes after i woke up.

i was lying on my bed, thinking about the video i saw in my clinical group work course earlier that day. it was a group of patients with metastatic breast cancer. apparently, that particular research showed that women who involves themselves with a supportive group where they are able to talk about their experiences and feelings would outlive those without a group by 18 months! amidst my ponderings, i started thinking about mom and those who have gone before me. i started praying for people who are sick, and my dear friend who i hear is recovering well at the hospital. i started thinking about my fears, and the love of god which is stronger yet!

so there was a second part to the story of the mice (yes, plural... unfortunately). it was probably a bit past 5:30am, because the sun was out, and i was still in bed... thinking, pondering, reflecting. suddenly, i heard the mouse trap shaking continuously, causing me to shake in bed and yelling "OH NO"! i thought in my horror that the mouse was suffering in pain during all that time. it turned out that there was another mouse there trying to do something about the death. that made me even more sad.

when we die, i wonder what kind of an image we'll leave for our families and friends.

so here's something from henri nouwen:

"dying with grateful hearts", taken from bread for the journey

we often wonder how death will occur for us. through illness, accident, war, or a natural disaster? will our deaths happen suddenly or gradually? there are no answers for these questions, so we really should not spend time worrying about them. we don't know how our lives will end, and this is a blessed ignorance! but there is an important question that we should consider: when our time to die comes, will we die in such a way that those we leave behind will not be devastated by grief or left with feelings of shame or guilt?

how we leave others depends largely on how we prepare ourselves for death. when we are able to die with grateful hearts, grateful to god and our families and friends, our deaths can become sources of life for others.

day two

2006-05-25T18:36:00.000-04:00

we got some smart mice around here. or maybe it also denotes my lack of skills in using these mouse traps. :D

twenty-four

2006-05-24T21:47:00.000-04:00

24 more days left at this place...

back to the loo

2006-05-23T21:27:00.000-04:00

well, i'm back at my waterloo home. or is this place part of the "away"? i guess it depends on the day.

i've been going to the waterloo park quite a bit for my evening walk/jog. it's just across the street from my place, so very convenient. being there has this calming effect to my soul. i love it!

on christian meditation

2006-05-21T23:58:00.000-04:00

i guess i'm writing these out more for myself. life will be super busy for me this next month before i head to turkey, so i want to be able to go back to these ideas when i get a chance later on in the year.

there was this short presentation by robert jonas that really captured my attention at the conference. he's the director of the empty bell and i find his work to be truly fascinating. he started out his time by playing this japanese flute for us and drawing us into a brief meditation. oh the sound of that shakuhachi was so lovely! there was a bit on the history of the christian-buddist dialogue and his current involvement with that. and then he also suggested the world community for christian meditation website and a book by s. mark heim called the depths of the riches for us.

on a separate note, has anyone read any of donald nicholl's stuff? at the 2nd plenary session, this guy did a comparison on nouwen, merton and nicholl, and none of us knew who donald nicholl was. haha..

nouwen & business management

2006-05-20T22:10:00.000-04:00

hahaa... i thought i'd go back to something more "mainstream" before venturing out in faith again. business management & spirituality is something that my dad talks and writes about often, so what is intriguing for business leaders at these talks might not necessarily be all that new to me. in fact, i was chatting with this older business guy after the workshop today, and he thought i was a business major! hahahaa...

so anyways, i thought i'd type up a few thoughts from my very last workshop of the conference (for my dad or whoever else interested). it was a CEO/consultant who travelled from germany to give that talk, since he found nouwen's spirituality to be hugely significant in his own business management model.

there's the question about the identity of the company. does the company exist to puff up itself, or does it seek to serve others? the example given was the change to Hewlett-Packard's mission statement. before it was, "we want to be the best company in the world" to now, "we want to be the best company FOR the world".

he talked about setting up the company in a way that could help their employees find their own journey to life, and finding different strategies to be successful (different from the "worldly" ways). an interesting point in this regard is that i guess germans, like the japanese, were used to "life-long employment" from the same company. so while acknowledging the difficulty in having to let go of employees within the new paradigm, he actually sees dismissal as an opportunity for helping the person find their own journey in life.

hmm... i want to write more on leadership, but i also want to sleep. maybe i'd just leave two sites if you're interested for more:
Robert Greenleaf: Servant Leadership
Peter Drucker: Leader to Leader Institute

henri the wounded prophet

2006-05-19T18:37:00.000-04:00

this afternoon's session at the nouwen conference was a panel of 4 of his biographers talking about whether his life matched well with his text. there was a lot of time spent on talking about his sexuality, and i guess it was the first time that some of the people heard about him as gay. i have this mental picture of a older pious-looking women who appeared very perplexed and disturbed the whole time. i felt bad for her.

apparently, michael ford was the first to write about it (for henri), and so there were talks among the different biographers as to the appropriateness of that. ford was not there today though, thus unable to defend for himself. there were also wonderings as to how helpful it would be if henri did come out and maybe write a book on homosexuality to help guide his fellow christians in this way.

inspired by nouwen

2006-05-19T08:12:00.000-04:00

i'm writing this at the little courtyard of st. michael's college at the university of toronto. i got down here early so i have a few minutes before the morning liturgy. i love wireless!! i'm gonna miss my laptop when i'm europe & south africa!

we had the first plenary session last night, and just that talk alone was worth the price of the conference in my opinion. it was mary jo leddy. she structured her speech based on an concept she got from a jewish philosopher, that:

we human beings think of god as merciful & just
because we are both weak & strong.

that alone got me thinking all night, and it even spilled over to this morning i guess! hahaa..

well, me gonna go join those "inspired by nouwen" people in prayer, and maybe i'll even get to witness the power of god getting generated in relationships as time progress.

attending workshops & conferences

2006-05-11T22:30:00.000-04:00

so i was riding the local bus yesterday and it suddenly occurred to me that i was on an air-conditioned bus. although i see its usefulness for later on in the season, i felt the air conditioning was functioning contrary to its purpose of instilling comfortableness. it was in a way a disturbance for me to enjoy what is natural. just like today, the noisy air conditioning system made it hard for me to listen to the speakers and other participants at the workshop.

it was an all-day workshop on "nurturing queer youth: family therapy transformed". isn't family therapy and nurturing queer youths a contradiction in terms? that was one of the introductory jokes by rebecca harvey. i appreciated their personal sharing when rebecca talked about her present day challenges working at a catholic university, and linda stone fish's perspective in mothering her children.

i picked up a few captivating ideas that i'm still trying to think through, including seeing queerness as a gift, encouraging difficult dialogues, continuum of gender and evolving sexuality. how does one create a refuge for queer youth? what are the parents' & therapists' roles in witnessing and encouraging transformation? how do i BE a presence for others (instead of focusing on doing?!)??

personally, i find it quite fascinating that this field is always changing, so much so that there's this sense of it being "too new to know". take a look at this quote:

"These new teens know they're not straight, and they don't want to be. Most are okay with it. Some are thrilled with their sexuality, but don't see why they must therefore label themselves as gay. Yes, they are sexually attracted to other girls or other boys, perhaps ever so slightly. Maybe their feelings are romantic but not sexual--or sexual but not romantic. That's not bad. It's natural. It gives them an edge, a certain mystery. It sets them off from their peers--and from us adults" (Savin-Williams, 2005).

so it seems that this is a "conference month" for me. next weekend i'll be in toronto attending a nouwen conference and the week after there's a conference on social work & spirituality in town that i'm hoping to catch as well. stay tuned! :D

flying in june

2006-04-28T19:37:00.000-04:00

AHHH... DON'T EVER BELIEVE YOUR TRAVEL AGENTS WHEN THEY TELL YOU THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO BOOK YOUR FLIGHT UNTIL ONE MONTH BEFORE!

well... that's a lesson that i have to learn again and again! there have been days when my last-minute-ness proved to be beneficial and cost-saving, but today is not the day!!

i found out that the flight i've been set on taking to turkey is ALL FULL! yes aweful indeed!! the agent said that's the weekend that kids get out of school, and so ALL the flights are full not only on that day but the day before and after or something like that. so in order to get to my cousin's wedding in time, i now have to go through new york, and wait in london for like the whole day and get to istanbul close to midnight. what was supposed to be a 13-hour trip is now turning to be a 26-hour trip. ahhh...

easter dinners

2006-04-17T23:25:00.000-04:00

it's been a weekend full of heart-warming meals for me here in toronto!!

there's the home cooked meals at the ming's with crabs and chicken and duck soup and steamed fish and fried veggies and much more. they are always so generous and kind and loving! they are my home away from home, that's for sure!! and then there's cha-tsaan-teng with robert; and burgers & fries with chuck. it's always a pleasure to share food and stories with a great old friend (or two), especially when there's some mutual support & encouragement blended in. for today, i had sashimi with wine and great tea at the wan's, packed in with a full day of dialogue with theology & counselling gurus. :D

finally, i want to highlight my easter dinner with johnny & doug! i haven't had a meal together with these two brothers together for years, so just to be able to dine with them is a treat in itself. but it was extra special cuz doug treated us to a superb personalized meal at "his" restaurant with great hospitality and class. i felt deeply honoured and fully appreciative of the whole experience!

so yes... if you find yourself wanting a great meal in town, do consider the brix. and remember to look for that very professional & competent manager there! :D

finding the way

2006-04-15T10:39:00.000-04:00

end of lent, following J
to the cross
learning to choose
your ways your thoughts your actions
difficult but crucial
death
and life
of faith, gratitude and love

sunday is coming
here now
tasting joy
of new life
start of something new